If you have a squeamish stomach, do not look!

I said don't look!

Tonight, this is how Brian and Amber returned home!

I don't care if it is fake, it makes my tummy flop. I don't like the site of blood or injuries. They went to help do a CERT disaster training. The scenario was apparently an earthquake in a school setting. Amber got a broken nose, and Brian got a piece of glass in his arm. Yuck.

Ugh, I'm Exhausted

Warning: I started to type this and found that I didn't stop. You may just want to stop reading now.

I am just plain worn out. I started the month of February caring for my Grandma. She has been suffering from a blood cancer called multiple myeloma, as well as 3 other blood disorders. She has always been a physically strong woman. I have seen a noticeable decline in her stature and ability to do things since I saw her last May. In September, I ran to Salt Lake to see her at the doctor, she was able to walk all over the Huntsman Cancer Institute by herself, although in quite a lot of pain. By November when I saw her, she was in a care center for recovery and rehab after the disease caused 3 of her vertebrae to all but disintegrate and break, so she had had surgery to "glue" them back together. This most recent visit, she was in the hospital because they found her nearly dead from the effects of kidney failure because her organs were beginning to fail. By Wednesday of the week that I was there, she had made the decision to stop treatments and go home to live out the rest of her days in the comfort and peace of family and friends. Her amazing oncologist (and may I add...he was hot...lol) was just the man that I would want explaining my options to me, informed her that if she chose this option, her kidneys would give her about 2 weeks. I never thought that it could be a relief to finally have an end in sight. I always thought that such a final diagnosis would be devastating. And though I know that it would be in some situations, in hers, it was complete relief and peace.

Although it was a very special week that I spent with my mom, aunts, uncle and grandparents, the events of the month have sapped every last bit of energy that I had.

The week that I got home, was Amber & Les's birthdays. Needless to say, Amber was all but forgotten when it came to gifts, special meals, and the like. I couldn't pull normal life back together by that point. She was so good to understand, and we had a good time shopping for hot deals and letting her choose some new clothes together. We were able to spend Les's birthday at the Environmental Center skiing and snowshoeing, and we let both kids take a friend for a little birthday celebration.

In that week, I spent my time putting together a slide show of Grandma's life to show at the viewing. On Friday, we made the drive back down to their house to show it to Grandma before she passed. She didn't know that we were doing it. When we arrived, she looked awful, but I am so glad that we took that last chance for the kids to say their goodbye's to grandma. I knew that there were only days if not hours left. It just so happened that while we were there, Grandpa had another stroke (not an uncommon thing anymore. It is just a matter of time until he has one severe enough to kill him.) Then we made the quick drive back home the next day.

On Wednesday of that week, she finally passed away. It was devastating and a relief all at the same time. I will miss her terribly, but am so relieved that she will not suffer anymore. I know that through the Plan of Salvation that I will see her again, although it will be such a long time. So on Friday, we again made the trip down south for the funeral.

Grandma was an amazing woman. Her cooking was something that I only hope to be able to equal some day. She sewed perfectly, quilted beautifully, created anything she needed, crafted so many amazing projects and cared for everyone in her reach. Grandma never spoke bad of anyone. NEVER. She cared meticulously for the things she had so that they would last and be kept nice for as long as she needed them, and was always content with what she had. She considered it a blessing to live within her means and knew that all the extras were blessings not essentials in her life.

Since we returned on Sunday from the funeral, I have slept way too much. I can't get enough sleep. I'm not sure how to remedy this problem. I have allowed myself to let my body catch up, but I also know that if I keep this up, my body likes to sleep, and it will become an addiction that I must have. I have way too much to accomplish to let that happen.

Those we love don't go away,

They walk beside us every day.

Unseen, unheard, but always near.

Still loved, still missed, and always dear.

I Love You Grandma

Etta Louise Warren Matheson

30 April 1931-17 February 2010

We Love you Grandma.

Grandma

Last week I had the opportunity to help take care of my grandparents.

I had the opportunity to be the only grandchild at the hospital when the doctor explained where Grandma's condition was at and what her options were. He also informed all of us that if she chose to stop treatment and return home on hospice, she would likely only have about 2 weeks left to live.

I sat alone with her at the hospital with a tape recorder as she told me of childhood memories that she had never told anyone else.

I never imagined that this could be a spiritual and testimony building experience.

Once she made the decision to leave the hospital and stop treatments, I had the special privilege of helping to care for her, and as Grandpa said "boss him around."

Now we wait. I think this is the hardest part. Again, she was sent home from the hospital in the best possible condition, and again we watch her deteriorate a little more each day.

I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to spend those days with her and Grandpa.

I love them both dearly, and will miss her terribly when she is gone.

I love you Granny!

Happy Birthday Amber

Eleven years ago my sweet Amber joined our family.

She is so caring and kind to others.

I admire the testimony that she has at such a young age.

I am proud of the person she is becoming and the example that she is to others.

I love you Amber.

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Brian

Happy Birthday Brian!
I Love You

Top 10 of 2009

1~ Family cruise to the Bahams
2~ Week at Disneyworld
3~ House redo
4~ All the kids are now in school
5~ Brian not working 3+ jobs
6~ Road trip to Arizona without kids
7~ Amber & Les did their 1st triathlon
8~ Les started piano lessons
9~ All 3 kids played soccer
10~ Running 5k's as a family

Wow, what a year we have had.
We have been so blessed this year with so many amazing things as a family.
Bring on *2010*!

(Christmas posts to come when everyone is back in school and I have my time back)

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas!

The Living Room

Well, it has now been four long months since we finished our remodel project, and I'll admit, I have been VERY lazy these last four months. I have never finished cleaning up and putting things away, and so have never taken pictures to show the final product. The only other time that I got my living room clean enough to take pictures of it was the day that we put up the tree, which made a disaster all over again.

Here is the before picture, although I think that the wall paper
has been stripped off the far wall by the time I took this picture.

This is an "in the process" picture of the wall that had wallpaper on it.

And this is the finished product.

Our living room did not have a light in it, and we have had to use lamps. I have always hated that. But from the time that we moved here, there was a light switch in the living room that went to nothing. Not even an outlet. So Brian was able to use that switch, and put in an overhead light and a switch that controlled one outlet that we have been able to use for a lamp and the Christmas tree lights. I love it.

This is the entry from my living room/stair/hallway area into the kitchen/dining room. Again, I have never loved it. I think that a room needs a real doorway, not just a place where the wall ends.

So we built and installed an arch to fill in the space, and make the doorway look finished. It was frustrating, heavy, and even caused a few days of not talking to each other, but in the end, I won, we built it and I LOVE IT!

You can see it on the left in this picture from the other end of the living room.

There is still several little things that need done to finish up. We have a few molding pieces that need tacked in place because we had to wait until the carpet was in to know exact placement. We also ran out of time and money to finish the banister, so for now my couch is filling in. And I didn't get to replace the chandelier over the entry, but that shouldn't be far off. I am also not in love with my curtains. I am not good at decorating, and not sure how to do it, but I will keep playing.

I will continue to post other pictures as each room is ready, but with the Holidays coming, I'm not sure if that will be soon, or not.

And the Winner Is...

Amber entered the science fair at school with her friend McLayne.
They won first prize for 5th grade.
Their project was to see if a greenhouse always grew plants (lettuce)
better than open air in cold weather.
They did a great job.
Congratulations Amber & McLayne
or is it McLayne & Amber? :)

Lights on Temple Square

As you know, my kids are huge 2News fans. When we went to Salt Lake we parked down on 4th South, and rode the Trax train up to Temple Square, because parking was free down there. On our way by, Sterling Poulsen was outside about to do the 6:00 news, so we stopped to watch. He asked us to be on his little news segment, and we got a picture too. You would have thought that my kids met Brad Pitt or something. The 2News people are famous to them.
I always love the lights on Temple square. We usually try to go on a weeknight when the crowds aren't as bad. This year, we went on a night that we knew was going to be warmer than the temps we are having right now. We were grateful there were no car accidents or other things to disturb our night this year. I like uneventful.

The Lobby of the Joseph Smith memorial building is beautiful.

And so is the tree.

Every year we see this bag piping Santa.
He is fun to watch. The kids are always amazed by him.

Visit with Santa

Amber had to sing at the Roy City Lighting, and inside the Fire Station, we all got a quick visit with Santa to give him our wish lists.

Amber wants a Wii.
Les and Zak both want RC cars.
Sounds simple doesn't it?

Wii with Aunt Lisa & Matt

Aunt Lisa invited us to spend the night at our house, and let the kids play Wii all night.
The kids were in heaven.
(especially since I have been the video game Grinch)
Here they all are practicing ski jumping.

They all had so much fun.
And I had fun too. The Wii is a whole different way of thinking about video games.
(I'm sure that all of you knew that, but I've never played one before)

Thanks Aunt Lisa & Matt.

Thanksgiving

This year, thanksgiving was at my parent's new house. The night before thanksgiving, Zak threw up, so we weren't even sure that we were going to stick around for the big meal. Fortunately it was a quick thing, and he even got to eat some of dinner with us. But we did end up canceling on the Turkey Trot race that we had planned to do on Thanksgiving morning.

It was nice to have a little more space this year in my parent's new house. Before the night was over, we managed to get a picture of all the grand kids. As you can see, they are all boys except Amber and Heather. It's a good thing they are the same age and enjoy spending time together.

These are just some fun pictures of the youngest three kids.
Mark...Peace dude!

I finally got Isaac to smile!

And Ty enjoying every minute with his sippy cup.
As soon as he saw me getting pictures, he held his cup like normal.

Go Cougars!

This is a painting that my brother did. He has had prints made that are available at the BYU bookstore. He also got the opportunity to give the original to Bronco Mendenhall, and his whole family got to meed him!

GO COUGARS!!

Honest Scrap Award

My friend Heidi awarded me this lovely award. So, just for her, I will give it a try. Here are the rules and the deal.

1. Present this award to 4 others whose blogs you find brilliant in content and/or design or those who have encouraged you.

2. Tell those people that have been awarded the HONEST SCRAP AWARD and inform them of these guidelines in receiving the award.

3. Share “10 honest things” about yourself.

Here are the 10 Honest Things.

1. I despise most Christmas lights ('tis the season). Put them up right, make them look nice, stop when there is enough, not everything needs lights on it, and take them down once weather permits. Otherwise, don't mess with them! Why do you think I can't get Brian to put them up, he surprised me with them once, and has never put them up again.

2. I loathe housework. I don't like dishes, bathrooms, laundry, dusting, vacuuming, sweeping, making beds, filing, and on, and on, and on. I am starting a little more to find some satisfaction in having some things done, done right, and done well, but I'll do anything else first.

3. I have very little self confidence. Especially when I am with others that I perceive as better than me.

4. I adore my husband, and my kids, even though you wouldn't know it by my behavior sometimes. They are amazing people. They teach me so much every day, and make me want to be better.

5. For most things, I prefer to plan ahead, and know that everything is ready. But sometimes, I love the rush of working frantically on a project to have it done by a quickly approaching deadline. Like the quilt I just made. I planned to have it done in a month and a half from when I started it, then the deadline was moved up to 3 weeks from when I started it, and then 1 week. I made almost the entire quilt in 5 days worth of working on it!

6. I love sports, and only wish I was better at them.

7. I miss my friends back home, and the things they get to do together (like comp sports).

8. I love to sing (again, I'm terrible at it).

9. I need a girl friend. A true friend. One I can count on and trust with anything. They are hard to come by. I miss that.

10. I'm not one to hold my tongue. If I think it I say it. Brian hates it (hehe). I don't usually intend to be rude, but I'm sure that is the way that it usually comes across.

I would like to bestow this honor on the following:

Deena P
Brenda K
Debbie C
Janice P

Anyone else that reads this and wants to do it, I would love to see you squirm.

Beans

My cousin has an amazing blog of the recipes that she makes. She started it as a way to share her Gluten Free recipes with others who have celiac disease. Recently she did a post about how to make your own beans to use in place of canned beans.

I am finding that I use beans more and more and I sneak them into recipes because of the nutrition they provide. But I get sick of buying them. She posted how to make and freeze your own, so I tried it. I am so excited to use them. I may just have to start stalking up on the #10 cans of beans from the church now!
My favorite part is that I know exactly what is in them, I know that they are low in sodium, and have no preservatives. (No, I am not a fanatic about those things, but if I can make something with little to no effort that doesn't have them, why not?) Total, this took about a day and a half to do, but only about 10-15 minutes of my time total. Just the way I like projects!

13.1 in 1:45

Over the weekend, we went with some friends (and no kids) to St. George for the Snow Canyon Half Marathon. Brian felt like he could do well even though he has only trained for that kind of distance for a few weeks.

He finished the race in the amount of time he had hoped.
I think it was right around 1 hour 45 minutes.
On the day before Halloween he had a minor costume injury to his toe,
but it hadn't seemed to be much of a problem, until he hit mile 9 of the race.
By the time he finished the race, he was barely running, and couldn't walk.
He figured that he must have a stress fracture in his big toe.
Fortunately, it seems to be OK, but I'm sure he will lose his toenail.
He was disappointed that he could have done much better if it weren't for the injury.

Brian and Bill at the finish line.

Fall Leaves 2009

The kids had Monday off of school. Thank heaven for warm weather.
They played outside in the leaves ALL day long, and loved every minute of it.

Halloween

Halloween 2009
Amber-Hermione Granger
Les-Indiana Jones
Zak-Woody

This year, the kids came up with their own ideas for costumes. They were really easy, which is what I needed this year, and the kids had fun...And since that is all that matter, I loved it too!